Being friends with a girl before dating
Their wedding was nothing short of a joyful and magical affair, as weddings typically are, but something remarkable stood out at this wedding.Among the hundreds of family and friends present were some former boyfriends and girlfriends of the bride and groom.after nearly three years of silence.♦◊♦Nine months ago, I made the decision to marry my husband, to take the vows and make our love and happiness legal and public.Before that, we had been engaged for two years with a relatively short courtship of six months (including one “lost month” —read: John Lennon and Yoko Ono).For the curious, my ex and I (as far as I know) do not have any lingering feelings beyond friendly fondness.The circumstances of our break-up were mainly decided by distance, made complicated by my mother’s (at the time) lack of liking for him.But how much is any of this impacted by being married to someone new? But if you ended on poor terms, why would both parties individually decide to reconcile?♦◊♦If you have lingering feelings, you could put your marriage in jeopardy. If distance pulled you apart, continued distance combined with marriage can keep you apart physically—but what about emotionally?
And, of course, the longer you’ve been broken up, the easier. If you ended on poor terms, that might be more easily mended within the context of marriage, since there’s no chance of getting back together.
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And dare I say, its perhaps delayed or even prevented some “happily ever afters.” My friends’ wedding, and the attendance of their exes, proves this myth to be just that.
Their friendships told a different story: we don’t have to be afraid that love and dating tried and failed will end bitterly.
Whenever something shook our lives, we’d make a call, regardless of the time that had passed between, and we fell straight into our friendship again, consoling, catching up, and tossing sibling-like jabs back and forth.